Congratulations to Jeanne T., the winner of the Amazon gift card! Woohoo! The gift card will be sent via email, so Jeanne please message Melissa Tagg on Facebook or at melissatagg@yahoo.com to confirm your email address. Hi, I'm Roxanne. Today would have been my wedding anniversary—only a tragedy stripped away the future I'd dreamed of halfway to my happily ever after.
What's keeping you from achieving your dreams? You may be staring at a blank page or dealing with characters that have hijacked the story. Maybe, the plot that sounded so promising has unraveled.
You may be overwhelmed with a difficult job—or no job—a wayward teen, a special-needs’ child, an off-track marriage, a scary diagnosis. Or worse.
You may feel you’ve received more than your share of trouble. Sometimes, living is so painful that it’s a struggle to string words into sentences, scenes into stories. It takes emotional energy to write, but stress and grief drain energy from your well of emotions. In fact, writing may be difficult, nearly impossible.
Believe me, I understand.
Blind-Sided.Nearly four years ago, on my twin daughters’ 17th birthday, my husband, Jack, had a heart attack. He was only 45 and seemed in perfect health, but he didn’t survive. I was left alone to raise seven children, ages 1-20.
Our four older children had jobs, so it was nearly impossible to juggle five different work schedules to find time for this picture. This photo, taken six months before Jack’s death when our youngest was only six-months old, is the only picture of all nine of us.
For weeks afterward, each time I’d fall into a fitful sleep, I’d wake up gasping from pain as I remembered (as if for the first time) what had happened. Writing was impossible.
Every time that I’ve put my writing aside, I’ve struggled to re-learn my characters’ lessons or discover where I left them hanging. I’ve lost so much ground.
Still, in the nearly four years since Jack’s been gone, God’s given me plenty of opportunities for personal growth. I’m doing all the things other moms do, and I’m doing them alone. My family has had the Swine Flu, ear infections, debilitating seasonal allergies. One child has a serous disease. Another child has autism. Some career paths that haven’t worked out. A relative with major problems impacted my family. Four cars were totaled in accidents. Thankfully, only minor injuries occurred. (BTW, you can ride with me. I wasn't involved in any of the accidents.) Then, there was the water damage. Three incidents. In one year. To the same house. It’s easy to see how I’ve been overwhelmed, but with God's grace I’ve also persevered.
Pearls. Butterflies. Adversity.God uses a grain of sand within an oyster to produce a pearl. Just think what God—who loves you infinitely more than He cares for an oyster—can create through the adversity in your life.
If a butterfly is helped from its cocoon rather than emerging by itself, its wings won’t develop the necessary strength to fly. God uses adversity to strengthen us.
Frankly, I’d prefer a life without adversity—at least, without losing my husband. But we aren’t given choices. We can only go on learning the lessons that God gives us.
I don’t know what you’re facing today, but we need to learn to write through adversity if we’re going to be successful in this business.
My Family Today - Looking for Silver Liningsphoto by Amy Smith Photography
Writing Through Adversity. (Or 10 Ways to Nourish the Writer’s Soul.)1. Take care of yourself. During airline safety presentations, adults are warned to secure their own oxygen masks before taking care of their children. Generally, we’re so busy taking care of others that we neglect ourselves. Take time to heal and become whole again.
2. If you can’t write, then read that craft book everyone’s raving about.
3. Meet with other writers, online or in person, to keep a writing connection.
My Book Therapy is a wonderful community for writers.
4. If you can afford it, attend a writing conference or a retreat. You may feel guilty because you’re not writing as much as you (feel you) should to justify the expense. Think of it as an investment in your future. Or consider it therapy. I honestly believe I’m emotionally healthier when I write. Aren’t you? The opportunity to rub shoulders with authors who share your passion aids your mental health.
5. Critique someone’s work, or better yet, judge a contest. It will strengthen your writing. Plus, you’ll feel good to be able to give back instead of being on the receiving end all the time.
6. Make realistic goals. If you can’t write a chapter, try to write 100 words. Or develop a new character’s goals, motivations, and conflicts. Or figure out your next plot point.
7. Use this opportunity to learn more about social media, networking and marketing.
8. If you’re published, communicate with your editor and agent about your situation. Don’t wait until you’ve missed a deadline.
9. One day, you’ve got to decide if you’re still a writer. Then, you’ve got to get into the chair and write. Muse or not.
10. Look for joy in unexpected places. A fresh outlook restores energy.
Joy.
(I wrote this almost three years ago, but it still applies today.)L
ast night, I snuggled with my sleepy two-year-old in a plush chair as we watched a DVD. My lips brushed my son’s soft hair, smelling deliciously of baby soap. I savored the moment. My life isn’t what I’d dreamed it would be, but there is joy, if I’ll open my eyes to discover it. Today, my nearly five-year-old delights me daily. Give me an hour and I’ll tell you how. ;-) If you need a fresh perspective, look at the world through a child’s eyes. In fact, with that new found joy, that fresh insight, we need to look for the silver linings in our lives. They're all around us. Drop a vase? Less to dust. Gained five pounds? There's more to love. Award-winning Author, Allison Pittman showed me a silver lining with all that water damage. (Yeah, it surprised me too that she could find one.) But she was right. I'm grateful it all happened when I was in the house to take care of it properly. I know mold isn't growing untreated within my home. Our characters also need to reflect joy and hope.
God, the Author and Finisher of our faith, is adding an entirely new chapter to my story with a happily ever after I couldn’t have imagined four years ago. (And, I write romance!) In 94 days, I will marry Steve, the man who is perfect for me--and my kids! Check back for details.Meanwhile, I’d love to hear the ways you’ve learned to write through adversity.
~ Roxanne Sherwood
When the Truth is Stranger Than Fiction. Daniel, my oldest child, (shown here with my youngest) was born on my second wedding anniversary. For the past four years, I’ve quietly grieved my loss, while trying to celebrate Daniel's birthday. Now, I'm concentrating more on what I have than what I've lost. (Though Daniel was born on our wedding anniversary and Jack died on the girls’ birthday, I could never write that in a story because it would sound too contrived.)
Happy 24th Birthday, Daniel! Thank you for all the ways you bless our family!
